Learning to Walk with Jesus - Part 7
I next went on a frantic quest to find out what had actually happened to me. I truly did not know what had really happened to me although I was certain I had met God. I went to a large non-denominational church in central San Diego and talked with a very nice pastor there. I had in fact visited the church once after accepting Christ at the Super Bowl Breakfast and I saw this young, black pastor who seemed to have a lot of joy in him. His name was Shawn Mitchell, now pastor of a large church in Oceanside, CA. He is the chaplain for the San Diego Chargers. He seemed like a very nice, godly man and I was hoping he could give me some answers. After a brief introduction I begin telling him my story and he starts to look at me like I am nuts. I can tell he is real skeptical and starts asking some very pointed questions. I answer him the best I can and then he begins to tell me about the process of being born again of God’s Spirit and what that entails. I can tell he still doubts the reality of my conversion though because of where it happened and how powerful it was. I had the impression that everyone who became born again must have had the same type of experience but I learn this is not the case.
The fact that it happened in the middle of a New Age seminar I think made him very leary. I didn’t know there were such a thing as a demonic counterfeit of being born again at that time, but that must have been what he was thinking. I looked at him straight in the eye and I said, “Listen sir, I have been afraid to die for some time now. I had this tattoo of the Grim Reaper put on my arm when I was 18 because I though death was very near to me. Now, I have absolutely no fear of dying at all and besides that, I wouldn’t even sit here with a black man and ask him advice unless God had done something to me! I now understand we are all the same no matter what color we are!” This kind of shocked and insulted him and I felt bad, but he really did believe me after that. Being raised on the East Coast, almost all of my friends and I were prejudiced against blacks. It was a learned behavior and was just a fact of life. Now I knew how wrong that was. It was ugly racism! God had really begun to change my heart from inside and to teach me what was right and what was wrong.
I was very out of balance in my early days as a Christian for quite some time as it was an immense shock to my whole internal system and to my way of life. I truly did not even know there was a God up there and especially that He cared so much for me! It was certainly a “lightning bolt” type of an experience. I slowly found out what exactly had happened to me as I read the Bible over and over and talked with other Christians. I would have doubts at times but when I went to God’s word I felt so much better and reassured. The Bible was the one thing I could count on to give me truth and peace. I read other books also and learned about other religions, but the only one that made total sense and ringed true was Christianity. It took me quite awhile before I could accept the fact that I was now a JESUS FREAK!
My wife thought I was crazy for quite awhile. She slowly saw that I truly was a new person and it really scared her. She also saw I still had some of my old ways that had not yet passed away, like my temper. I didn’t realize how deep-seated my anger was in me and didn’t realize it takes time for God to take this out of a person.
My children were young, only 5 and 3, and they soon accepted Jesus into their lives. I remember distinctly praying with them one night and the Holy Spirit touched their lives and both of them were filled with the Spirit of God! My son exclaimed, “Dad, Jesus is tickling me inside!” as he was laughing and full of joy. I was amazed. Liu, however, held out for a little while before she became saved. She finally she gave her heart to the Lord Jesus four years after I got saved and now we are all serving Jesus together.
We have had many ups and downs in our life since becoming Christians but I know I would never go back to where I was for anything in the world! God truly saved not only our souls but also our marriage and I praise God for that. We just celebrated our 29th wedding anniversary and I know we would have never made it without Jesus. Praise His Name!
Soon after I got saved I got out of the Real Estate business and I began doing ministry work with abused people, which I still do today. We started a small home church back in 1990 and we meet in different houses in San Diego together. We are small in number but we enjoy the closeness and accountability a small group provides to each other. My wife is working full time now and witnesses about the Lord Jesus whenever she can. I have a small business at home on the side that helps pay the bills.
To whoever reads this, I hope this story has touched your life just a bit as I wanted to capture on paper a little of what God has done for me and my family these past 20 years and spread the message of His love with as many as possible. Thanks for taking the time to read it. Please email me if you have any questions. May you come to know His love for you. God Bless! – Ed (End of Part 7)